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March 9, 2012
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-The revenge of the Rakazel-

Behold the roguish crow.
We named our captain in its image. Some believe that mortal hands cannot take the life of such a beast, for it is far too shrewd to return to the hell it once called home.
Captain Balbaris mocks at our admirations, saying that he himself is able to kill these demons. We remain silent, no one daring to laugh.


The quiet is what finally caught his attention. Only the crackling flames that licked sluggish at the remains of the battle could be heard. The gentle sound might never again be comforting during a campfire.
Balbaris tried to open his burning, soot-filled eyes. For a frightening moment he believed himself blinded, but after a few searing blinks he began to recognize, bit by bit, the contours of the battlefield.
The silhouettes of his fallen companions were flickering dark spots against the garish red of the fire. Balbaris weighed the possibilities of his men escaping the flame roller. No. The bitter truth sank in. Whether now a blessing or a curse, one had survived.
"Crows cannot be killed."
Nevertheless, the ridiculous nickname his crew had bestowed him and made him famous proved accurate. He had never been able to make friends with it. He resisted the desire to laugh and instead lay in his hiding place. His long hair hung lank in his face. The stinking cake of soot, sweat and blood, equal parts his opponents and his own, clung to his skin. Working more out of instinct than actual higher thought, he had found a burning shelter and miraculously escaped the watchful eyes of the knight's guard. He felt like a coward, but at least he was alive. But had he not fought well? With his sword in hand he had proven himself as a daring opponent. No pompous knight of the fop's army was an enemy for him, but with this one attack they had surprised him. Even he had to admit that he had entered the trap like a fool, for while the shrewdness of Balbaris was well known, he was powerless when the magician came into play. One single flame roller and the fight was decided.
They called this high-raking swine Jelester. The mage had slaughtered his crew, but his spongey, fat face expressed neither joy nor disgust. He had been grim, virtually motionless. Could it be that he drew no elation from the burning of so many men? Balbaris would show him soon how to glory condingly in the defeat of his enemies.

The crackle quieted until the flames almost faded, finally. He rose. The burnt walls of his shelter crumbled around him. He knocked off the dust from his clothes and swayed a few steps over the soot-blackened ground. Once more the wind whirled stinging cinders into his face. His eyes flared in pain anew, but an internal power prevented him from turning away. Still he felt no fury, only bewilderment. Fury would come later, brought upon by the desire for justice, for vengeance. Those who were responsible would have to atone.
There was no mistake that even one of the corpses charred unrecognizable was still alive So Balbaris wasted no time in verifying the dead bodies like a fool. For a short, melancholic moment Balbaris considered taking leave to a nearby field and building a small memorial to his men. He rejected the sentiment - he would be putting himself on display. No one should know that one of the Razakel had survived.
He had to keep going. His revenge had to restore the honor of his fallen companions. In that moment he filed a silent oath to the souls of his men. Balbaris, captain of the Razakel, would fall into oblivion but not disappear. The crow withdrew his broken wings into the kingdom of the dead to repair and to awake, finally, again, anew.

Read next: Chapter 1 "Lourde"
Revenge of Rakazel, the prologue.

Oh my god! Revenge of Rakazel starts as a novel in English now.
I hope you all enjoy our story.

All characters, story and character designs belongs to us.

Original text written by :iconeninaj27: and :iconm-i-d-s:

English translation by :iconsveidt:

Thanks for the help, SVeidt!!! You're a darling
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Ulver-av-Nord Featured By Owner May 6, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
At last I have started to read this story, and I am glad that I have. I shall be moving on to the first chapter soon. Having a good beginning is very important, and I like that you have started where not many stories start; after a fight. Some start right before, even during, but really like that you have focused on the moments of dreadful emptiness after a fight. I also really like the use of words; very clever indeed.
Eninaj27 Featured By Owner May 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, I am glad you like it. I hope the translation is readable XD Feel free to correct me, when you find something weird.

Next chapter will be a complete other scenario. Let me know if you like it too. :)
Ulver-av-Nord Featured By Owner May 6, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
You are very welcome! The translation was very good; there were a few places that I had to re-read to understand, but very minor ones indeed.
I have started reading it, and so far I am very interested.
Kregl Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So, I've read that one without breathing!
It is captivating from the very first words, till last.

Now so many questions are piling up, makes reader just desire to read further to find the answers!

I just adore stories that don't keep people waiting.
Seems like yours is one of these,doesn't give a chance for a mind to distract to anything else while reading
Eninaj27 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, thank you O_O
Kregl Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Not at all! I finished the second part too, but overthinking it, will take some time :)
Winxhelina Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
The translation is amazing. I has a wide varied vocabulary, bit hard to read for me. I never really acknowledged how much the story was about pirates while looking at your art - I mean, sure I noticed, but I never really acknowledged it. I was too captivated by the beauty of your art and characterrs. I'm really not a fan of pirate stories actually, but I like your characters and it seems really well written so I guess we will see if I like this.
Eninaj27 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :) It's really hard for me too. Most part of the story I translated with a program. But it made many mistakes, I had to fix. Well, yes it's about pirates, but not only. It's more like a fantasy story WITH pirates. But I hope our pirates are a bit alternative to other stories. But now we begin with Lourde and next chapter Seik will come. Both of them aren't pirates. ;)
Winxhelina Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Okay I have to admit I still haven't read it, but I will try to.
TheRavenWhoSangFire Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer

I would love to give some kind of constructive criticism, but I cannot. This is what I dream for my own writing to look like. When does chapter one come out in English?
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